Something amazing happens...now what?
I LOVE being happy. Doesn’t everyone?! I love those moments when you smile uncontrollably, and you laugh until you cry. I’m sure you can all think of a handful of moments in your life that were extraordinary.
However, in my own life, after the AMAZING moments also come an “emotional hangover”. If your hangovers from alcohol are like mine have been, you lay in bed and do absolutely nothing. It’s pretty depressing. I typically say things like “I’m never drinking again!”
My idea of an “emotional hangover” is something i have made up (heck, maybe it’s a real thing, I’m not sure) and i know it sounds absolutely crazy that you could have a hangover from being too happy. But that’s exactly what it is, where something amazing happens but then everything feels “blah” afterwards.
This has happened to me numerous times after my most amazing memories, it’a period of time where I was on cloud nine and then CRASH. Reality sets in, and life is just kinda BLAH for a brief period after the happiest memories. These are a few examples of my happiness hangovers:
I am not a good planner. At all. Hence, 2 unplanned pregnancies, and I’ve been engaged 2 1/2 years and still haven’t even picked a date to get married. Haha.
I was 19 when i got pregnant with Addi, and that meant I had 9 months to grow the heck up. The first 19 years of my life I had been spoiled, lucky, wild, selfish, and careless. I went into labor around 3AM, and suddenly, shit got real. I had 9 months to prepare for her arrival but apparently I prepared everything, except my mind. I loved being pregnant. While I was pregnant I could protect her, I didn’t drink any alcohol or excessive amounts of caffeine. I read the pregnancy books and asked the doctors millions of questions to do everything in my power to have a healthy baby and keep her safe. For me, pregnancy was easy, I didn’t get sick, I didn’t swell, And i actually felt beautiful for once in my life. Then addi made her debut...
something amazing happened in my life, now what?!
I didn’t know what the heck to do. I had exerted every emotion in my being while delivering her in the hospital. By far the best day in my 20 year old life. But then I came home from the hospital. I had read all the books, I had talked to all my friends and doctors, I actually grew up (surprisingly), i fed her, I changed her, I burped her, but she just kept crying...and crying.
I didn’t know what to do. So I cried, too. **I had a happiness hangover**
Ever since i was little, i knew I wanted to help people, I just didn’t know how I wanted to do it. I put it off, and put it off, until finally I decided to bite the bullet and start a charity.
Something amazing happened, now what?! I didn’t know what the heck to do. **I had a happiness hangover**
But I did it, I decided I wasn’t going to procrastinate any longer. ((In hindsight, I probably should have procrastinated a little longer to figure things out)) I started Live Love Nashville in late October/early November 2016, and by December, the local news was calling me, wanting interviews... How awesome, right?!! A month in, and already get so much recognition. I was TERRIFIED. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, I just knew I wanted to help people.
Once I was on the news everyone started asking me, “are you going to quit your job? What are you going to do next? I bet you’re going to be famous.”
Something amazing happened, now what?! I didn’t know what the heck to do.
People were assuming I was going to be famous and had all my shit together when in reality, I didn’t even have a website to sell my charity shirts on.
**I had a happiness hangover**
Ellen....my gosh. When I was surprised by Ellen it was the best moment and so surreal. It was all such a whirlwind, and i had so many unrealistic visions of what i thought would happen afterwards. I had it in my mind, I was going to quit my job, move to California, work for Ellen and do charity work full time, and live happily ever after. Haha unfortunately, that didn’t play out. I came back home, got overwhelmed with tons of orders and other media coverage. And then a few days later, life went right back to normal.
Something amazing happened...now what?! **I had a happiness hangover**
When Brandon proposed it was the most magical night, everything was perfect. I thought he was taking me to the cupcake atm machine,nope! He had rented the top of the country music hall of fame, overlooking all of Nashville. His friend Michael set it up, there was a tiny table with champagne and dessert from the Cheesecake Factory.
Something amazing happened, now what?! I didn’t know what the heck to do. **I had a happiness hangover**
Everyone kept saying our wedding was going to be so beautiful and amazing, the wedding of the year. Talk about pressure. So instantly I started calling venues, I wanted to get married where he proposed because it was so beautiful. $47,000 right off the bat-and that’s not all costs. Woahhhhh. I’m the girl who orders water to save $2 at restaurants, people.
So here we are, 2 1/2 years later without a wedding.
**I had a happiness hangover**
Some of the most amazing things that have happened in my life were also the most terrifying.
Most days, I have no idea what I’m doing. Life is such an adventure with twists and turns that only God can predict. Sometimes, the unplanned-unexpected things are the most beautiful.
My philosophy is, if I would have waited until I was married to have kids, I would still not have any children at 29. If i would have planned a wedding right after our engagement, we may have been divorced already, just being honest. If I had waited until I was financially ready for kids, I probably would never have children because, let’s be honest, I will never feel financially stable, no matter how much money is in my bank account. Some weeks I might splurge on getting my nails done, other weeks I eat leftovers and order water instead of Coke to save $2.00.
Has anyone else ever had a happiness hangover?!
Love love love
xoxo
Tay