I only have 260 weekends left. How many do you have?
Confession... I created the title extra dramatic to make you click on this and read it did it work?!
Although it’s dramatic, it’s actually true. 26 weekends a year...that’s how many weekends I have my daughter Addi. Out of 365 days I only have her 52 days.
So i did a little basic math... and that means I only have 260 weekends left with my Addi until she is 18, moved out, and in college or working (hopefully!)
Wait what...!??
Yep. It’s true. Addilyn is 8 years old and in the 3rd grade this year. Her dad and I split up before she turned 1 so she doesn’t have any memories of us together as a family, except for pictures.
She was screaming on the outside, I was screaming on the inside during our family pictures. Needless to say we are much better apart than we ever were together. We co-parent pretty well together, and see eye to eye most of the time. He gets her every other weekend on Fridays and then I get her back on Monday evening.
Do I regret leaving him? Absolutely not.. However, I have been doing quite a bit of soul searching recently, and it made me realize I only have 1/2 the time with her. Obviously, I knew this when I left, however it’s just now hitting me pretty hard.
She is already 8, and it has FLOWN by. In 8 more years she will be driving. Lord, help me.
In 10 more years around this time is when she will be starting college.
That’s 260 weekends. Only 520 full days that I get to spend with her.
Y’all, that is only a year and a half of quality time that I have with my daughter.
I know, I know…you think I’m crazy for looking at it that way, because in reality i have 10 more years with her until then, but I work full time from 8-5 Monday thru Friday and also do Live Love Nashville during the evenings and early mornings.
I try to spend every weeknight at home with my babies- but honestly it’s eating, baths, homework, then bed...so I don’t even consider that time to be factored into this quality time. After I get off work every night it’s “eat your vegetables, eat 4 more bites, do your homework, let me wash your hair, brush your teeth, put on your pjs, pick out a bedtime story” then we talk in bed about each of our days and what we are thankful for, pray, then they are asleep.
The weekends are OUR time as a family. We have 48 hours every weekend with Aidyn, and every other weekend with Addi and I LOVE my weekends.
We have been so blessed with our families being involved and loving our children endlessly. We have never once paid a babysitter to watch our kids, it has always been family members. I can only recall a handful of times in 8 years when we didn’t have anyone to watch the kids for something we needed to do. We have even gotten the calls “hey do you need us to watch the kids?!” And so easily, we would always say “SURE!” Even if we had nothing to do and nowhere to go.
It’s so nice to have a break sometimes. However, in hindsight, I wish I hadn’t spent so many nights out. I wish I had been at home with my babies instead. The nights out caused so many fights between me and Brandon, and lots of hangovers the following day when I could have been creating great memories with the kids instead.
Did you know 90% of a child’s brain is developed by age 5? Yep, FIVE. 90% of their personality is developed by age 7.
My point is, I have 26 weekends every single year to make it right with my daughter. That’s only 52 days. As parents we only have our children for a very short amount of time, and during that time it is our responsibility to teach them things that will last a lifetime-kindness, love, compassion, fairness, strive for greatness, and so many other great qualities. If we don’t give our kids the attention they deserve, they will go searching for the attention elsewhere.
I know I will never be able to teach my kids those qualities if I am distracted during my quality time with them.
Ever since I started Live Love Nashville I feel like people are constantly telling me how selfless I am, but in all reality I can be pretty selfish, too. I am constantly on the go, so whenever I have down time all I want to do is sleep, or be lazy. By myself. No kids, no Brandon, nothing. Just me, myself, and maybe a good book or junk TV. Heck, i’ve even locked myself in the bathroom scrolling through social media for nearly an hour. WHY??!! I am scrolling through everyone else’s memories instead of making memories of my own. I sure as heck don’t know why I do that, but i’ve done it on more than one occasion.
Now let’s talk about my littlest love Aidyn, he is my baby. He is 4 years old and wild as hell, yet sweet as pie. I am so blessed that Brandon and I are raising him together, and that we are able to spend every weekend with our little man.
Instead of 26 weekends we have 52 weekends a year with him. But still, that is only 104 full days a year. We have Aidyn 26 more weekends a year than we have Addi.
Do I wish we had addi with us on those weekends?! Absolutely. Positively, yes.
However, I must say Aidyn thrives when I give him individual attention when addi isn’t home. It is obviously much easier for me to do since Addi is at her dads every other weekend, but I think it’s so important for all children to receive that one on one interaction with parents. And that one on one interaction with your partner is just as important—MAKE time for date nights!!! I took Aidyn to get ice cream one night without Addi & daddy, we had SO much fun. He really opened up, and thought it was so great that we were getting ice cream and we left Addi and daddy at home.
Maybe I’m crazy, but y’all, sitting down and realizing how little time and how fast it is flying by makes me want to quit my job, snuggle my babies, and travel the world with them.
Ok..ok, back down to reality. That’s just not possible for me, but gosh it sure does make me want to value the time I do have with them.
I am challenging myself for 26 weekends, i will put down my phone, stay off social media, turn off junk tv, and create memories with my babies. Will you take the challenge with me!?